Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
