So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
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