god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
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