...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Randomize
