My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
