Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
I just want to make out with him forever
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
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