i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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