just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
Randomize
