I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Randomize