I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
You brought string cheese to the strip club
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize
