but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
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