Yo dont text me then not text me
saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Randomize
