I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
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