I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Randomize
