She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
Randomize
