Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
