I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
