I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
The air was thick with penises
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Randomize