I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
high people should be assigned attendants
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
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