no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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