Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
