I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
Randomize
