Whoa Z and x make the same sound
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
Randomize
