if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
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