i think my mom watched the whole time
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
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