You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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