My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
