Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
