Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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