..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
