I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
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