By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize