We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
