I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
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