Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Randomize
