If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Randomize