I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
