my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
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