I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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