drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Randomize