member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
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