Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
