you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
