We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
Randomize
