His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
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