You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
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