We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
