The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
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