where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
Randomize
