how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
Randomize
