I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
My butt remains clenched, sir.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Randomize
