So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
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