a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize