Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Randomize
