I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Randomize
