Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
Randomize
