did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
People with herpes should wear stickers.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
The convent might be a nice break from real life
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