hotel room ftw
I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
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