dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
