literally had 100 drinks last night.
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize