The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
it glows. i had to have it.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Randomize
