My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
